Louder than Bombs

Moving is stressful. Moving half way across the world is so stressful, I am resigned to coasting on four to five hours of sleep a night until late June.

For the past few days, when I’m not packing, I’m in bed with a fever. I think the stress is lowering my immune system. And it’s not just about packing. The logistics of getting work visas, transporting pets, thinking of starting up from scratch over there, tying up loose ends here… it’s just too much at times! The stress is keeping me up at night, and if I don’t get enough sleep I become brittle and start to fall apart. Like right now. Right now I’m falling apart.

Ever since it’s been decided that this is what we’re doing – we’re moving with our two teenage kids, two big dogs, and a cat, to Denmark – I’ve been doing my best to tune out the news. There’s enough in my immediate world to keep me up at night. Having to also think about the manbaby in the White House, in these highly volatile times, is more than I can handle. No, I can’t take the randomness of the current administration. How can anyone live with this much uncertainty? This administration’s plan seems to be not having a plan and acting on brain farts occurring at 3 am. I’m so over it.

But then, yeah, like it or not the news manages to seep in. Because as much as I’ve been avoiding the news on the Syrian conflict, how can I really avoid it? And what I come across is so horrendous, so heartbreaking, it leaves me ashamed of my own approaching moving day drama.

Because I won’t be walking across a continent, through hostile territories, in hopes of reaching a safe haven; I’ll be flying Icelandair. I won’t be carrying everything I own on my back; I’ll be shipping it with international movers. I won’t have to worry about seeking asylum, hoping for acceptance, because I will be moving with a valid work visa. And even though I’m not a six-foot gorgeous blonde, I’m pretty sure I’ll manage to blend in. And if it doesn’t work out in Denmark, Seattle will still be here. But Homs, Aleppo, Deroa, Idlib, Raqqua and countless others, won’t.